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his small,little minah(NOT!) 
♥ ZURAIN;zoo-raa-intemasek poly; junior yr. pharmaceutical sci! :D :D SHORT,and happy with it.(: loud. laughs at every single little thing. chocolates,donuts and icecream make her smile like a kuku!:P loves her one,and only ♥ and oh, i am anti-veggies. ty (:
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gone with the wind June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 February 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 June 2010
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Sunday, October 30, 2005
Surprisingly I'm back again. Wooo. I must really love my bloggy to write two entries in a day! Haha. So darn,I'm feeling super dizzy. Thanks to the 'all-hail-Nippon' paint. Bluekz. Hekz. So,today my mum was frustrated with me cause I didn't go to my religious class. And its not like my first time. I guess I do have a much tardy attendace for it. Hehe. Hey,dun't blame me! It's like so totally boring and most of my classmates are much younger than me! Damn. LOL. My mum was like "Do you know how expensive your religious class is?" And I was trying to explain to her how boring and even if i go today,the teacher wouldn't be doing anything. Well,at least I didnt' lie. The exams are in late November. So,who cares ? Hekz. In the end,I got my way.=) And I was darn super happy. And so like I say the painting part. Urgh. I was chatting on the com when suddenly my mum goes "ADEK!!". I hate it when she calls me that way. It will usually mean that she wants me to do something for her. Things that I usually am not in favour of. And another thing is 'adek' means little kid. What the hell. Why can't she just call me by my name. Urgh. Nemind. I'm used to it anyway. HAHA! So,paint I did. The darn paint gives such a sickening smell,that I almost faint. HAHA! It was white and I had a hard time painting cause the brush was so small. Thanks to the paint,it also gave me several strands of white hair. Washing it with thinner still doesn't works. After several minutes of frustrating hair-wash,I gave up. I guess I just have to risked having white hairs for school tomorrow and Hari Raya,huh? Darn it. The thinner. Sheesh. The first time you smell it,it smell pretty nice. The longer you do,i will smell more like my cat's urine. Seriously,go try it! XD The pillar that I painted turned..err pretty unsightly. Hey,dun't blame me okay. The paint just sucks! Hehe. But hell cares. To me,its a job well done. I couldn't have done it better! Well,at least I think so. And I did it all with a smile. YAY! I am finally helping my mother at home.*pats herself on her shoulder* Anyway,in conclusion,I can never be a painter/housewife. I must be someone with a career. I have no idea how to do housework. -aiin // xx.screwed up.xx As we go on We remember All the times we Had together And as our lives change Come whatever We will still be Friends Forever This song is dedicated to my one and only beloved class,1E3. Honestly speaking,I'm begining to love my former class. Like I've said in the previous entry,we have been through thick&thin together and we persevere. No tormenting or hurtful words by anyone could bring us down cause the spirit among us is strong. And i stil believe,it's still burning. At the begining of the year,we were strangers to one another. Its still vivid in memory. In term one,every teacher who used to taught us,praised and labeled us as the 'best' and an obedient class. Great expectations were slowly put on us,as our different subject teachers came into the room. 'A*'s were the only grade we aimed for. Not realising the difficulties of achieving it. We were so-called "saints" and no bad comments were written in the class diary. But as the time flies,we got to know each other better (even through cca) and became more outspoken and noisy. And slowly..I began to realise that we're no longer the "small-ever-innocent-little-things" we used to be. And our used to be relief(spelling?) teachers were like our preys. We had fun 'bullying' and giving them snide remarks. I'm sorry,Mr Yeeee (unsure of the recurring 'e's.hehe.) and Miss Teo. We had such great times during your classes. Once again,Sorry for being such immature spoiled brats which we used to be. Last but not least,a huge THANK YOU for being there for us when we needed you. (psst.and also for the yummy pizzas,mr yeee.hekz) I grew to love my classmates a lot now. Even with the guys. Come to think of it at the begining of the year,I wasn't that close to anyone of them. But surprisingly,I began to interact with them well and began to realise that sometimes,we do have things in common. Examples would be like Rahmat and Jackie. Being in the same group for like a term now,we became much closer friends now. Never a day,did we forget to tease one another and causing laughters to be heard echo-ing through the room.1E3 is more than just a class. We're a big family. Connected emotionally. Our class spirit has always been there. We've seen each other cry and at the same time causing trouble for the teachers. And I'm really grateful for the encouragement 'you' gave me at the lowest point of my life. The small,little things you told me when I felt really screwed up. No words could describe how much i appreciate them in my life. I guess I did took my classmates for granted. Even though we weren't that close,you would always be on my side whenever i needed someone by my side. Somehow,I blocked out the fact that you would be leaving someday. And so soon. A simple thank you could never repay back all those bittersweet memories we had together. I'll miss you guys no matter what. We'll still remain as 1E3 the 'best' class deep down in our hearts. I'll assure you that. Ending at a positive note,good luck in your future endeavours and may we keep in contact till the end of time. Nothing is impossible. 1E3 spirit still lives on! A special thank you to all 1E3-ians! With tears, - aiin // xx.screwed up.xx Monday, October 24, 2005
well ive come NOT to blog about myself.
but about my friends around me,mainly 1/3-ians. we have gone through thick and thin together,dint we? (well i think so.hehe.=) i remembered the times when we stood by one another through the Community Heart Day and even all the past-exams. actually we went to several excursions before but i cant remember.sorry.hahakz. we give out ideas and gave a great performance,dint we? yeaaaa.totally.ehehe.:) then exam comes and we stood strong and worked together to achieve only the BEST. (though some werent that good.including me.hekz) but still,i enjoyed every moment i had with 1/3. 1/3 the all-girls class with only 8 pathetic guys. i so feel like im in a all-girl school,man.LOL. only one word to describe us. WOW.yeaaa.w-o-w.unique-ness! but still the class is pretty noisy,you know.hahakz (councillors not doing duty ahh?!hehe.) ey! im talking about myself.nemind. well speaking of councillors, 1/3 have the most number in sec1 level.typical.=) and hey! im proud to say that.hekz.=P and ohyah not forgetting the so-called 'class motto', "step by step towards the Best!" how cool is that,huh? LOL. bah. XD psst,some message for you guys out there. (including me! hekz. xp) even though at this very moment,you are crashing down,falling apart,dont let this be a major one. dont let your sadness and anger flow through this 'failure'. let this be a good lesson to you whereby there is another chance where you CAN succeed in life. well,im sure you kept asking this question to yourself. but who is to be blame? its yourself.not others. but by blaming youself,you dont have to think that you are practically useless and all. dont put yourself down.dont criticize yourself. love yourself for who you are. even though you might be weak academically, just remember one thing: everyone have other talents that is deep-hidden inside them,yet to be revealed. even if you are falling into a dark hole, think about this phrase: "search the light and you'll find your way to the top" yes,there's no point crying. that's true,isnt it? but if you cant control it,then you might as well let it all out.no use keeping everything to yourself, not realising that you are killing yourself mentally. if you're reading this,and i might not be close to you,ill be grateful to lend my shoulder to you if you ever need one.=) this so-called 'failure'you guys are facing. just stand tall,live strong. (remember the huge banner in our sch? hekz.) dont show the teachers that you are weak. show them instead that you are strong and you're going to score well the next time round. treat this as a 'beautiful' disaster,alright? i love you guys lots. parting with you 1/3 peepz can really bring tears to my eyes.='( and to 1/3,next year,we're gonna study hard and smart.we're gonna make sure that no one is left behind again. i will certainly miss you guys lots. bad times.fun times.stupid times.hu cares? :) and last but not least, i will cherish every moment i have with you guys. 1/3 will always be in my heart! love you guys! <3 Goodbyes are horrible. I wish we never had to say Goodbye. One day,ill stop saying goodbye. *One day,ill do what i want. If you were to walk into my heart one day .. you would surely cry, cause you see a heart filled with you only.. And so will I cry when I walk into your heart .. cause I cant even see a trace of me left behind . -aiin // =) Thursday, October 20, 2005
results kills.i wonder?
lots of things have been happening lately results.bleah.sucks BIG time. class position: 27/42 though i improve but still it sucks! dammit.bye-bye,2/3 & 2/4 for me. i hate myself so much! i broke my heart..n besides that my mum's! how could i ? well,looks like i just did. she was so hoping for me to go to 2/3 (aka da BEST class) urghh.i hate da word 'best'. my world is cracking because of it. aniway,which mum wouldnt want her child to be in da best class,right? -.- im just a freak who loves breaking hearts. wads with me,man? urghh. i wonder? when we got da results,some peeps cried and were really in a bad mood. looking at their results,i was way-WAY lower than them. so why are they sobbing and muttering regrets to themselves,while me having suckier marks am neither crying but instead laughing my hearts out cracking up jokes ? dont i have a heart at all? dont i like feel anything? i wonder? or am i just not sensitive enough? i told this to PT n she just give me a 'good' sign smiling,i just nodded my head. giving a sign of being as positive as i can. i guess its just my nature,huh? my nature of not liking to show my inner feelings and thoughts. no matter how happy or crushed,i may be. i dunt know why. but i just dunt like to tell anyone my secrets,my problems i guess i feel more secured that way. its not that i dont believe my friends, but its just that...its hard to explain. i wonder? if i cry like one hell of a freak, will the teachers give me any more marks? definitely,a no.so why would i be crying? what is done,cant be undone. so what the heck the crying is all for?! but still, its true what people say sometimes crying can be the best medicine. you'll never know. failing. (urghh.i so hate da word.) when i was in pri school, failing has never occured to me. but only once that is when i was p5. it was my first time in history that i failed my science by a mark.i still remember.i cried uncontrollably as my mum and sis taunted me with all those poisonous words. at such an immature age of 11, i cried,couldnt taking it. it was the first time i ever felt a sharp blow in my heart. only my brother was with me all the while. only he (during that time) believed in me. and he supported me all the way to prove them wrong. i showed them.i worked like one hell of an idiot. and God was fair.i got a shocking 86! a band1! da greatest band1 in my p5 life. it was somewhat like a miracle. my classmates were pleasantly bewildered with this great achievement. thank you,brother. for being there for me.<3 that was the first time i ever fail. i promised myself a never failing,ever. but HELL was i wrong. secondary school life came and failing comes nothing to me now. its just a down-right hobby to me. my heart doesnt sinks whenever i see a below-50 mark. i felt as if failing is my second nature in life. or isnt it ? once again everytime bringing back such results home, my mum and sis will start taunting me with those hurtful and poisonous words. i didnt cry like before.but do they know, of the heart inside of me that's bleeding and shattering into pieces, every time those words are mentioned? do they know how i ever felt having gotten such wonderful results before? do they know i hurt MORE than them? these few days passed by. my heart broke,shattered into pieces. pieces that could not be placed back together. even if it could,it wouldnt be da same. my heart bleed profusely,looking at da 'whole-heartbreaking-results' i have gotten. it bleeds still it couldnt bleed anymore. still,i didnt even once cry. i was strong.i believe that i should be. i know i can do it.if i really look back and reflect on the things that i have done. i believes that failure comes before a success, and i know if i can do it,i can!:) -my motto for sweet 2006=) who said lyfe's gonna be easy? no one said its gonna be this way,too. my world is craking..is yours ? berhenti berharap.. -aiin // =) Friday, October 14, 2005
yesterdae
went to causeway wit sam,cx&yz went hulabaloo dere !=) we took neoprints (lots&lots of dem!HAHA.) till i discovered tat i had donated like 6bucks to da shop ?! wow.i must realli be rich,huh hahakz.da shop muz be super rich by now.:) duhh/ well met lifen n some others dere,too! waaa.so uncoincidence sia ! hehe.was so much fun with them adding to da noise we were makin. LOL.=P den after dat we went to this "i-ferget-da-name" shop n made small number '1' keychains with 4 of our names written on it. by us,that is. costs 2bucks each. kinda cheap.turned out niceeee. so hey,its worth it ! hahakz. =) we took da no.1 cos we sec1 mahhx n wen nxt year until sec4 we'll oso do da same.hehe. kinda lame..but very da cute lahhs.:) kept as so-caled 'memories'.yupp. den we went to da arcade! my favv place in cwp (psst.nxt to neoprint of course.hehe) played da car racing,motorbike n da 'dunno-wad-name' game. ahaha.cool ahh. ferr once! i noe how to start my bike to move ! *wheeeeeeeee haha.really ahh.last time i dunt even noe how to move da blardy bike. heeez* fun seh play wit yz. budden i very da noisy i was screamin all da way. LOL.=) den went to gift-a-name n bought a hippo plushie with lots of 'iloveu's on it. veri da kawaii sia ! was last in stock,too n it wasnt tat expensive (bcoz we share between 4ppl mahhs.haha) its fer lifen dat is. since she's leavin on da sunday n it'll be da last time we see her. sad.*gags*ill mishh u lifen ! haish..ive been sayin tat fer da last few daes now. hahakz.. den we give her da present right on d spot also lahhs. hehe.budget..cheapskate. no wrappin paper! hehe hope ya like it lifen ! =) den we go to ermm ice-lemon-tee (spelling?) shop n buy bracelets fer da 4 of us to keep as memories also lahhs we bought 4bunches inside got 2 ! each bunch $0.50 !! hahakz so cheapskate sia ! actually its bcoz we spent most of our money alreadyy.:) so we juz go walk2 around lahh window-shopping ! but bought nuthin..ehehe. geez* =) den blar3. im.addicted.to.bikes ! im.still.addicted.to.ice-cream ! hehe.:) sam,yanzhen,chiaxing n me besties till da end ! memories stayys. 4 of us. forever. - aiin //=) Wednesday, October 12, 2005
12102005
da date dat states.. da END of da freakkin EOY exams!! yeshh..such a memorable dae,indeed.=) todae was art.urghh.yeaaa.ART da actual piece was uglier den my supporting studies.. was pissed off wen discovered that da blardy drawing block given to us was TOO thin n it made me difficult to shade.YES.i was doin shading. n it turned out horrible ! (with so many white patches here-n-dere) damn.curse da paper.cheapskate! LOL. niwayz.was panickin but uhh kinda resolve it. ehehe..n i guess not bad laHH. well i guess i cud accept a freakiin 'C' ! art.is.so.hurtful! hahakz..*grins urghh,..pls some1 remind me NOT.. to use shading nxt yearr. thankiu. =P so after teacher collect all da papers.. 1/3 went chaos ! n everybody was screaming .. but of course,its da end of da exam ferr sec1 in 2005,that is. wad do ya expectt ?!! buahaha. niways went happy-happy fer awhile. den sad..*gags* todae's da last dae lifen wud be in school.yeaa..LAST. she's leaviin in uhh... 16102005 da date dat states.. sad-ness n grief-ness to see my dearest galfren leave. (n d onli pervetic one,that is) almost cried after saying my last goodbye to hurr. well i guess she cried,too.. its really sad.. though we are not really that close.. she's still my fren.. my council-mate.. n we DO share a few exciting moments together.. sand-castle building .. like da dae of da sec3 ptr.. we played,we joked,we pee-ed, we burped n we greet and even suffered severe leg-pain together n nathanial was 'ouhh-so-caring' towards us..n asked us to relax.. hahakz.memories.memoriess.. it was so heckk-of-a-FUN n i wished it cud juz came again.. we even thought of doin da same duty, but i guess.. dere's no hope ehh ? haiz well.its juz gonna be a faded memories.. n ya guys noe something.. its true that 1/3 do indeed have cliques.. and all but still.we are 'a' family.. n will always stays as one. we might jus say a simple hi everi mornin.. but we care boutt each otherr..(i guess?hehe) n nxt year,we WILL be separated.. n it is hard to see that happening.. but its part n parcel of life.. n we juz have to accept da fact.. knowing that it will happen one dae.. sooner or lata.. i heartts hurr i'll mishh hurr n memories stays .. not in da kinda mood. dunno why. he's online. hu cares.. blurr-ness.urghh. dunt wanna tok bout it. wadever happens, things happens and ya noe wad ? it'll never came backk. its all in God's will. -aiin 12102005 and 16102005 great-ness and grief-ness at da same time. cant ran away fr it. its reality. Saturday, October 08, 2005
Bukan aku tak sayang - by salem saat kita berpisah kau pegang erat tanganku sepertinya tak merelakan kepergianku untuk meninggalkanmu dermaga saksi bisu waktuku kecup keningmu perlahan kau lepaskan pegangan tanganku ku melihat kau menangis lambaian tanganmu masihku ingat selalu itu yang terakhir ku melihat dirimu sudah sering kau kirim surat namun tak pernah aku jawab laluku kirimkan undangan agar kau tak berharap bukannya aku tak tega bukan pula aku tak cinta kerana orang tua yang tak merestui cinta kita dermaga saksi bisu waktuku kecup keningmu perlahan kau lepaskan pegangan tanganku ku melihat kau menangis . To Whom it may concerns, buat seseorang yang pernah manjadi temanku dahulu, sudah tiga tahun lamanya,tlh hilang rasa syg kpd mu sudah terlambat utk memberitahuku semua ini aku tak dapat menerima kau kembali.maaf.. tak sampai hati ku mengguris hatiku ini sekali lagi.maafkan aku selama ini. dalam tak sedar, aku menangis bersalah utk semuanya ini. Thursday, October 06, 2005
hi people! iim back!
like duhh/. this iz my blog.haha. yeshh! mine.MY.hehez. kay..crap.enuff.. niways..todae nuthin much. got back home at around 9.00+ again. lit was okay.thnk gawd. todae fastin 2nd dae. yurrps.its like onli 12++. n iim freakin hungry. harkz. =) go home. go onliine. update my friendster profile. read kayys? haha.=D den chat wit rahimi.shubaa.lifen.yz yurrps.my darlx.. lolz.=D iim gonna mish u lifen !! damn.ure my onli pervetic fren. n u will be gone.gags.sad sob sobx. geez* n confirm nxt year, i wont be iin 2/3 with da rest. damn.ill miss da fun we had. haish.but nemind.we'll still see each another in npcc or even council. thnk goodness! ehehe klar me gtg now. i migt update again lata, iv not lazii arhh. hav to pray my zohor now.. outt ! check out my frienster profile yeahh? =) i.hearts.him do i still ? geez* -aiin Monday, October 03, 2005
todae.geo.paper. dint hav enuff time.suck. sucks.damn.badly. pissed off. coz nuthin tat i learnt. came out!! wad da shit larr !! urghh. nemind.itz over. hopefulli ill juz pass it. by chance.arrh.kk.wadever. to complete da peper. hell cares. =) paper ended earlii. released at around 9.00+? yeahh.totalli. kewl,huh? den go np. wanna eat at mac. still hav breakfast. so go to kfc. havent open.hahakz. so we decided to go to food-court. walk2 ard food-court. n found tat i onlii had 4pathetiic bucks. not enuff to eat. da drink's ex sia! hehe.pathetiic.i noe.lolz. so me n yz went to kfc. it was open all rite wen we go dere. da queues were like so long.damn. n at one of da queue. dere was HIM !! ARHHHHHHHHH. hahakz.over-reaction agaiin. =) n i went "oh shit". hahakz.i dunno why. guess its natural,huh.lol. queue up. he.rahmat.helmi.kong jian. n some other guys were dere. blardy larr kj,he let some of da other guys, into our queue.includin him. hehe.all da guys cut our queue. except ferr him. hehe. see? so gentleman rite? ahaha. good manners arrh. my knight in shinin armour. lolz.kk.gettin ridiculous. =D den i teased rahmat. harhar weird larr he.lolz. as always.*grins he tok to gers no look at da face one. like ernest like tat. ha.but i teach him alreadii. n he's improviin! lol. yay-ness ! *claps* den he smile2 like a freakk like tat. see,told cha. he IS weird.duhh// =) den he like look2 at me tokin to rahmat like tat arhh. ARHHHHHHHHHHH/ soo CUTE ! damn. luckii i dint make it so obviious. or did i? haha. den i like tok2 to kj oso larr. he tok to me bout joinin pds n all. well i kinda lied. i told him i dunt want to joiin pds. but da truth iz, from da startin in np. i onlii wanted to be iin da pds team. well,itz juz tat im not chosen. hahakz.yeahh. sad.but nemind. so wenever ppl ask me why i wudnt joiin it. i wud juz say im not interested. n stuffs.hahakz. nemind.hu cares? ha. =)) den he look-n-look agaiin,. we tok.ARHHHH !. cute sia.trust me. i was controllin my excitement. ehehe.*grins den take-away order. den blar3. =] walk home wiit chia xin. she was like askiin me whether i realli like "him". n i was like wad do u tink. hahakz. n she said i was blushin. i was? was ii? lolz. niwayz. gtg now. outt! =)) he's.not.gay.his.voice.is.sexy n.he's.NOT.half-half. lolz. my.knight.iin.shiniin.armour geez.* i.hearts.him.4eva imma cute dimples n gugu eyes-addict ! kawaii-ness.ahaha. =)) -aiin
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