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his small,little minah(NOT!) 
♥ ZURAIN;zoo-raa-intemasek poly; junior yr. pharmaceutical sci! :D :D SHORT,and happy with it.(: loud. laughs at every single little thing. chocolates,donuts and icecream make her smile like a kuku!:P loves her one,and only ♥ and oh, i am anti-veggies. ty (:
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Tuesday, February 20, 2007
really sorry.its been lyke FOREVER since ive blogged. i seriously do suck. sorry! heh waiting fer dat one person to be online actually. have not been chattin with him fer 3days oready? haiz. i seriously do miss him..hope hes alrite. dint noe i cud get so sick waitin fer him.. weird,fever increasin as i grew anxious waitin,and waiting.. he'll never come,will he? ): sigh tryin my best to distract myself by doin hwk.. but to no avail. how da hell am i suppose to concentrate doing my own work!? haiz. damn it la. bout my current lyfe.. ive not much comments bout it.. i guess,it's been da same..depressing and sad. juz wen i thought everythins gona be okay, i was wrong. it all goes in a cycle.. everythins dats happenin is killing me.. studies,cca,council,family probs,health shit.. how da hell im gona make it oso i duno.. so hell,been trying and trying.. but wad did i get in da end? nothing. zilch. i guess,i just duno wen to stop trying.. but after wad ive done and gone thru all dis while.. is it worth giving up? sigh. this is one of da reason i dun wan to blog, its all depressing and never happy. lyke it USED to be. lemme bold it. 'used'. i seriously miss those times.not worryin bout anythin at all. well at least,not as much as right now. i knew it.i never did want to grow up. cos i noe it'll never be easy.. but i dun have much of a choice..do i? my health is practically deteriorating.. tho it could not really be seen physically,im seriously dying inside.it feels lyke my mental strength hav worsened,too. i doubt my survival instinct is dat strong.. to be able to pull thru wad dats gona be faced. da werd 'okay' doesnt mean anythin to me now. cos iv being 'okay' means fakin a smile and puttin on an act everyday of my lyfe,den i guess im okay. but i can never fight against da truth cant i? cos da truth is ill never be okay. being in denial is nt goin to brin me anywhere.. but nths goin to stop me from doin wadever dat i want. and wads impt to me now is,my loved ones' happiness. iv i cant gain happiness fer myself,i can at least make them happy? haiz. just gimme da strength to pull it thru. im gona make it. ill make it even if it kills me to do so. & i seriously wonder where my hero is he should be here any moment now,shouldnt he? just wen i need him da most ; so tell me, whats da point of waiting? - zurain
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