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his small,little minah(NOT!) 
♥ ZURAIN;zoo-raa-intemasek poly; junior yr. pharmaceutical sci! :D :D SHORT,and happy with it.(: loud. laughs at every single little thing. chocolates,donuts and icecream make her smile like a kuku!:P loves her one,and only ♥ and oh, i am anti-veggies. ty (:
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a tragic happy ending
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
i really don't know whether im doing okay or not.lyke i think im going to be depressed once again. oh the tragedy.i hate being a bloody teenager whose mixed feelings are just getting to her. how to avoid it? hell,i don't know.i really wana try.but.. i've been hurting so bad.by almost everything arnd me. or maybe,once again im just being an insensitive jerk. oh what the hell. no more pms,please. i've enough of being 'emo' or whatever you call it. i just wana be me. just that,a little part of me is trying to change. because i feel so sick & tired of being myself. i just want to be more than who i am cos seriously i am one of da most boring people,on da planet Earth. i thought cutting my hair would help,i guess i was wrong. i feel lyke a 2year old girl who have just lost her dearest mummy and just wants to see another friendly face,that she knows. seriously i hate myself for that.anyone,willing to help? argh. i think i've just given up on myself. just another idiot with an identity-crisis. family? i really don't wana talk about it. never. just don't remind me about it. cos things are becoming even more complicated now. all i want is a simple lyfe.& i really wonder if that's so much to ask for. i am,no doubt,da most pathetic idiot too. i hate looking around,seeing people happy. be it,with their friends,family,or bfs.apologies fer being such a bitch,and a loser.just can't help it. i may look as if,im having a hell of a lyfe(a good one that is) but mind you,you don't know how screwed my lyfe is. just that im too good in the act of pretending. i just can't help wondering,how long am i going to last? love.misery yet a great splendour at the same time. an irony? well,you can consider saying that too. so,what REALLY is love? just a word that some hopeless romantics used to describe his feelings for someone? what about the other words that people throw into this world of lies? Fate, destiny, ambition, serendipity - the words that mean the most to me are the ones that hurt the most. i don't know whether i should feel glad or sad to be in love. cos it once used to be a fab thingy filled with memories. it once,took over my lyfe.completely. but now,its just a pain in the ass.& it just hurts.enough said. ive lost believing in guys and all.but the feeling's still there.. i can't help it,okay.lyke how im missing someone just very very much right now.but i really doubt,he's even thinking about me.yeah,im being naive,as usual. oh damn. i wana be cheerful.lyke i used to be. im trying very hard la okay.im even listening to Bowling for soup songs to get in the action & everything! tried to avoid from listening to sappy,sad songs which i used to listen and adore very much.my feeling's pretty weird. a little happy,yet a huge dosage of depression. something's way,way wrong with me! hey im doing okay. & Ill get back to you if you come back to me. - a tragic happy ending
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