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his small,little minah(NOT!) 
♥ ZURAIN;zoo-raa-intemasek poly; junior yr. pharmaceutical sci! :D :D SHORT,and happy with it.(: loud. laughs at every single little thing. chocolates,donuts and icecream make her smile like a kuku!:P loves her one,and only ♥ and oh, i am anti-veggies. ty (:
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gone with the wind June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 February 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 June 2010
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Saturday, June 30, 2007
be strong,be strong now.don't know where she belongs. thats where she lies,broken inside. oh,my RANDOM thoughts. my voice is turning into a man's,once AGAIN. cx said,she love it.and so i love her for that! :) mom scolds me fer everything that i do. (yes,wth) home,aint exactly the right place fer me to stay in. council.pissing me off as time goes.cause of the biased-ness. im just a piece of shit in np.its like i dont even exist. cause im a sec1-nco,and dats EQUALS to not existing.(yay me) they have so much to do,ive nothing to do.that sucks,seriously. he have his dnt shits,everyday of his life.aint gona wait no more. ive always been oh-so-patient.now,its gona be different. im starting to be more quiet now,which is so not me. and i rather talk to myself,den to someone else.(weird,whatever la.) im turning into emo,and i bloody hell hate it! friends.aint always there.not their fault.but i guess all i want is for them to be there for me,whenever it is. i hate myself fer being such a naive moron. oh,my CONFESSIONS. i cry,each time i took the bus back home. most of the time i smile,well they are fake. im never okay,no matter how much i smile or laugh. usually the happier,i seem to be,the sadder i am. i feel lonely everywhere i go.& that includes during council,np trainings,class.even when im with my best buds. i get more angry easily now.well i hate myself for that,too okay. i cry each time im alone,too.but ill never cry in froont of people. cause of the bloody ego in me.& thats my weakness too. my weakness,is seeing other people's happiness. cause i know,ill never be that happy. and ive gave up on that. I'm not afraid of the gun in my hand. i'm not afraid of dying. I'm just afraid of the pain it will bring. And to see my best friends crying. shes all over the place. xoxo sometimes,nothing is Everything.
Friday, June 29, 2007
and theres nothing you can say,theres nothing you can do, theres no other way when it comes to the truth. i will stay strong,no matter what happens. im not gona cry,cause i noe thats just weakness in everybody's else eyes. I hate when I can tell how I'm acting. How I know I hate the way I'm acting but yet I'm seemingly powerless to stop it. cause you know,ill make it through. Avril Lavigne-when you're gone. http://youtube.com/watch?v=bf1R2oZohn4 must watch,ohkay? (: xoxo when you walk away,i count the steps that you take. Sunday, June 24, 2007
do you know it feels to be dead while alive?to fall asleep each night to the sound of your own cries, to have your life change in the blink of an eye, to discover your reality was nothing but lies? do you know how it feels to want someone to blame, to find yourself alone when your in the greatest pain, to shed a river of tears at the mention of a name, to realize that from this date forward things will never be the same? do you know how it feels to learn your best wasn't enough? for someone you love to violate your ultimate trust, to find out those words were just cold hearted bluffs, to accept that the future holds no more promises for us? do you know how it feels to make a fresh start, to keep a smile on your face even after your whole world fell apart? i'm not the girl i used to be, i got to admit, a lot of shit got to me XOXO Thursday, June 21, 2007
i tried so hard,& get so far.in the end,it doesnt even matter. two werds; fucked up. ive never fell as bad as i did this time, ive never cried so hard, ive never felt this broken & shattered, ive never felt so bloody useless, ive never thought i could be so weak. what happened to the zurain who smiled and laughed though her pain and tears? she was so strong..but nw.. haiz. enough said. ill never show how weak i've became xoxo Sunday, June 10, 2007
hmm.something's been bothering me,lately. cause i guess i really shouldn't be in any form of relationship.at least not for now. as that would only add on to my recent commitments; (though they might be little,in any way or so.ha) student council.npcc.studies.class(?) & family. yes,no more please.it'll only kill me. & ohyes,i still owe council $38 in total. thanks to camp.and sec3 new council tee.lyke wth la and ive to earn it myself.oh my.only God knws how im gona find the money =X (sigh,stress again!)
oh so easily right? ^puppy love,that is :) im just another pain in the arse just lyke you,my boy X) xoxo
Saturday, June 09, 2007
 nobody want to see us together, but it don't matter no. cause i've got you,boy (: will update soon. later :D
Thursday, June 07, 2007
hello.okay so im pretty stressed up ryte now. waaiting for the person fr touchnprint to call me. woah.ive been calling and talking on the phone to the different designers since i came home. i reached home arnd 3plus.now its already coming to 7.so this shows i bloody hell dunt have a lyfe. gah! :) still needa contact & remind my KING groupies. of the lil 'date' which we'll be havin on monday.urgh ill have to come out wt some ideas fer identity,too! oh my.whaat a cruel world.not forgettin clearin up da council room on da very same day.GOD,ill die. lol gaah.kinda fed up.cos da designer is pissing me off making me wait fer her to contact me.gr. nvm.i shall wait! lol enthu u noe.ha! Npcc; today was a pretty much hectic,& tiring day fer me. da sec1s road safety thingy was well, lame. (oh,how could ive not rmb it just 2 yrs ago? hah) wear full u.walk arnd.smile.met my cuz=D gave out papers.collect them back.and smile,again.=) aha then well some of dem lost deir things.AGAIN.yes.sigh ive gt nth to much to say on that.just careless,i guess. on da bus,dey were okay.we sang,bomb-ed each other till all chowTAH,and joke arnd.well all changed till we reached sch. JENG JENG (suspense laa.haha) we asked ms yap whether we cn pump them. we WERENT allowed to,lyke how sad,but la.nvm laa. instead,we gave dem our SUPER (ha!) garang face and lectured dem pretty much non stop. da 3 of us.one after da other.and its kinda scolding la actually cos half of the time,we were screamin at them. at the same time telling them whaat was wrg,stuffs & blablas. well at least,i dint CRY or nithin lyke dat.while scolding. but nevertheless,i guess i almost did.ive a soft heart,u noe :) bleah and i felt pretty bad cos i guess ive scolded them pretty baad.lyke rabak,dey call it in malay.haa its been so loong ive nt scolded nione lyke dat. i could seriously feel my face flushed with anger sia cos lyke i mean.dey lost their freaking ranks & everthng! vulgarities.sigh.and not so much of a respect fer us. (somehow ive given up on that.yeaa) but overall dey were still fast fer sec1s.proud of them fer that. i guess its true,they are kinda owning da sec2s and all. but dey definitely cn do better than that! i know,& believe that they would be able to do it(: ! psssh: it pains my heart to scold them. after all the laughters that we had and all. the ncos gotta do,whaat we gotta do. we dont detest you or anything. infact we love you guys and all. perhaps,ull only be able to understand all of this wen ure an nco/ic,urself (: but if u still think im crapping,den well just one werd,Whaatever la. just see for yourself alrite? sometimes,i just wana go back to a cadet lyfe. less worrying,& more 'enjoy-ment'.ha but who says,being an Nco sucks niway? tsk =) -ill keep on loving my squad,no matter whaat happens. ncos '07-08 :D [ 22nd batch! ] im just a harmless human being. so fear me not laa.alamak. ha! i saw -nameblocked-at kfc today! (woah,an achievement ain.hah) enough crapping. back to serious work.council tee design.urgh! xoxo Wednesday, June 06, 2007
 oh kay.spent soo long editing da pic. lyke wad the hell.aint THAT nice. i know im a bloody noob in editing la! damn ): ha its ohkay.i shall learn ppl! and soar higher! whaat the hell am i talking abt?! lol oh dont mind me.i just gets HIgh fer da wrong reason. sometimes.so yeah.lol *smiles i L-O-V-E my grp fer council camp. all of dem talk & laugh as much as i do! yay! (: haa gooooo KING! yeah.lyke whaat a name ryte? its ohkay.better than India,anyway. x) oh hell,atc memories! lol i miss my india-mates!lol lyke i say i think my grp is gona rock da camp. and i mean lyke seriously la! wt me in the lead as ic! HA.OKAY im getting really weird nw. pssht. lets make it a memorable camp laa! :D but of course.hah KiNG 'S gona rock sc camp'07. king is love! go KING ! :) -yes,im as enthu as cn be! ha im missing you,imaginary boyfriend. still waiting. -pouts tmr im going fer da sec1 np road shitty thingy. havent prepare full np u.ha. im dead =) klaah better go now. SMiLE! :) xoxo Tuesday, June 05, 2007
hoho.i spent $60+ blanja-ing da 3 weirdos. do i rock or whaat? ha ate at Manhattan's FISHmarket. plaza sing. cx thought its REALLY a fish market. aw.do i love her or whaat? heh the place was cool.kinda posh i guess =X then we went to watch SHREK3! :) ah damn nice,I TELL U! a must watch la! damn funny.laugh lyke shit lyke dat. lol andand sam cnt stop laughin at me,too -_- & i threw popcorns at her. ha u! ohya,HER BUTT WAS SOAKED! nenipoopoo=P niway i blanja-ed them da popcorn & drinks,too! seriously,sth's wrong with me.i was TOO nice.lol ahh niway we oso bought this 7bucks so-called 'dog-tag' with da werd BestFriend on it. each of us bought it.aww.sweet ryte we? haha & we've decided.we'll wear it 24 hours. minus when we bathe la.alamak. haa even in school.so yeah. shush u asses! :) ahhhh.yes! ive edited da pic we took just now. of course nice la.i edit mah! lol bhb yaya me. kk.i better go. byeee. (im toking to myself.lol) pssh; zurain is forever in her OWN world. get used to it people! heee i love you,my imaginary boyfriend. so.erm,just wondering,where are you?! im waaaaiting. -im just another moron,in denial. xoxo Monday, June 04, 2007
So far, so good.You've stopped something that couldn't be stopped. (when you flug a hose, the water is soon to burst) Look at yourself. You're relying on a moth-dined parachute. (we're arriving at 5,000 feet) Run. Away. Far away. Mommy won't see you. She'll sleep more soundly tonight. Because of your midnight foot steps. ps: yay! this is my 1ooth entry! ha :) love me or hate me. im still gona shine. xoxo Sunday, June 03, 2007
rod was the shit!i love our nco tee! he sent me home on the stroke of midnight! (woah ain) oh you attention-seeking moron, go get a life and stop pissing me off! im bloody bored.cos apparently everybody's too busy to entertain me.as usual. damn! you and your dnt shit! gaaah! cn die laa wait fer you. go ahead,boo me. perhaps,i shall go to da lib mysef and rot there with my darling tbks. (lyke i hav a choice?) aliff! my love. yes MINE. ha im mad.yes forever and ever la. get used to it peepol! x) lol I LOVE ALIFF. Enough said. :)
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