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♥ ZURAIN;zoo-raa-intemasek poly; junior yr. pharmaceutical sci! :D :D SHORT,and happy with it.(: loud. laughs at every single little thing. chocolates,donuts and icecream make her smile like a kuku!:P loves her one,and only ♥ and oh, i am anti-veggies. ty (:
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Tuesday, October 16, 2007
IM A BLOODY MORON WHO DESERVES ALLOF THESE HELL! yes,that says it all.freaking bad day.woke up late.ran. checked 3 bloody papers.overall flunk both of them.fugg. i was aiming fer at least an A fer physics and wth did i get!? haiz. i studied so freaking hard for all the papers,i duno whts wrong with me. i swear,i put my hearts out in studying for them. haiz. its like i totally almost broke down and cry on my table in cls. staring at da 'ohgeezwonderful' marks tht ive gotten. i promised,tht i can take it,tht i wouldnt show how weak i was. and thts da reason why i did not really talk to bestfriend when he came to my cls,moodily and equally depressed i guess. pretty much bcos of her i guess. ah. im sorry dude,my heart was hurting as bad as it can gets. at least, i didnt break down and TRIED remaining cheerful thruout recess. tht was when i was wrong. this cher approached me in the canteen tht i flunk totally badly in this paper,tht i used to ace,very well. at tht moment,my werld totally shook.my eyes were brimming with tears. i wanted to just collapse on the grnd and die there,at the very spot. sam was there.freaking embarrasing.esp wen he compared our papers. i wanted to scream as loud as i could,run away from the truth tht ive just known. then,i guess i cant do that.its the real world. who the hell am i kidding? i went totally depressed from then and ate like nobody's business. i didnt even shed a tear. i kept it all in. nobody has to see this side of me. and then there was np.i didnt want to go home.so i stayed,accompanied the rest and kpo-ed at da sec2s. ahh.and at tht very moment,i wished i could just like turn back time or sth.which is impossible. i smiled,i gave garang looks and all.but beneath,my heart was still aching.BADLY. once again,i was proud of myself,cos i stayed strong thruout the journey home. and now ive my beloved juniors aka jianhui and nic to console me. for being so utterly depressed. haha. they really do rock=) but i am feeling depressed.and once again,i feel like doing the same, silly old habits of sliding the razor at my wrist,once again.just like old times. but then,i think.so what even if i do tht?i aint gna get better marks or anything. but part of me still insists,on getting the pain away. at least for now.i need it.i need anything. i laughed,i ran around,i smiled,all beneath this aching heart. but at the end of the day,i do have to admit that. im no longer the strong girl whom i used to be. shes gone. my whole shook. when you came and go,and when these papers had to just re-appear with those 'astonishing' reults of mine.
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