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his small,little minah(NOT!) 
♥ ZURAIN;zoo-raa-intemasek poly; junior yr. pharmaceutical sci! :D :D SHORT,and happy with it.(: loud. laughs at every single little thing. chocolates,donuts and icecream make her smile like a kuku!:P loves her one,and only ♥ and oh, i am anti-veggies. ty (:
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Wednesday, April 01, 2009
you know what? im furious to the max lah can!___ asked fer ezah's no JUST BCOS im going to the movies with her. cos she still dont effing trust me. like wtf can. & yes,thts da ferst F-werd i said after oh so long. ugh! ferst she asked fer maii's no cos i frequently gym-ed & swim with her. now this. like OMG WHAT THE HELL LAH. can someone/anyone give me some air to breathe? ferst and foremost,im not a little child who cant bloody hell tc of herself. and im not a frigging whore who will f__ with every guy i see on the street. after so much tht i had sacrificed and gone thru fer da fam,this is what i get? i sacrificed my WHOLE life fer it;quit my job,stay at home & stare at the walls and decrease my iq,follow wenever my mum goes_- and can hardly go out with anyone else in this planet. and yes i help my fam,with all my heart. but this is the kind of treatment tht i get? oh cmon lah. anyone else in my position would have slit his/her throat or sth. and no,you ppl dont understand me. the kind of pain my heart had to go thru,every single sec of my life. ever since the prob occurs. yes,i may smile and laugh,n pretend as if everythings just fine. but please lah. everyone have their limits. im nt a friggin zombie. feelings,i have them too. all tht you guys care bout,are yourselves. and when any shitty things happen,all fingers point to me. i never did,and still do not want to show how i really feel and all. cos i dont want to affect anyone else.n i knw no one will really be bothered neway. its impossible to even describe how i was/am. haiz,forget it. every night,i cry myself on the bed. praying tht id go to slp. it hurts so bad tht even simple things like slping & eating has been diff now. and i wake up every morning,wondering why life has to be so hard on me. only God knws how painful & diff it is to step out of the house,n just..smile. sth tht i can simply do,months ago. i pray to God everyday,fer strength. and im thankful tht im up to this far. but still... this is my friggin blog so if any of u decide to read it and tell/whine the whole damn thing on wht ive written to your parents or whoever shit, you simply have no life. cos apparently ive found out tht a whiner reads my blog and told on me,the personal stuffs which i blogged. and obviously it spreads to my mum. like woah right. and whiner,if u happen to be reading this;lemme tell u tht i do knw tht ure tht ass who tell on me months ago,and maybe even till now. i didnt and havent confronted you yet,cos i find it pointless. i dunt think straining our relationship is gna help. im just..sad. feel pretty much back-stabbed. but ohwell,wht can i do? and dont worry,im not a bitch who will tell on u to the rest of our cuz. if you think id do tht. den ure way wrong. just stop with all this nonsense. if ure not happy with my life,maybe u want to have my life or sth, just come straight to my friggin face and tell. i f___ing hate my life. werld's just falling apart. thrs a quote saying tht God wont give u sth tht u cant handle. i wonder just how much longer can i go thru all this. i wonder.. i may be banged up mentally & emotionally,but everyday i walk outstide with a smile on my face,cause thts just who i am. Labels: all banged up
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